The 'Fax (pontifax) wrote in chaosvideo,
The 'Fax

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Xanga - mysecondlife

I wasn't planning on posting another one here tonight, though I was collecting plenty of sites that I was planning on hating, as well as gathering IM names to wreak other havoc, but then I came upon this xanga, which sparked such fury within me that I just can't begin to explain it.


Good God, this little girl's xanga mad me angrier than I've been in a long while. Let's not waste any time and get right down to the analysis.

Name: *~Mer~*
Birthday: 2/24/1989
Gender: Female

Interests: obsessing over weight, ana/mia, counting calories, restricting, starving, SI... hey if it works, it works...
Expertise: hurting myself and getting hurt by others... but i love the pain

There's her vitals. The girl is 15 years old. Pay special attention to her interests. I'm not sure what ana/mia means but I'm going to assume it has something to do with eating disorders.

Let's move on, shall we.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

found myself some new razors... or more like took apart more things to get the best razors i could... its bad cuz im just tempting myself to start cutting again but hey wutever...

i ate a lot today, im kind of disgusted, but i ran hella and rode my horse, so i got a lot of exercise.... im going to a party tomorrow and i had so much fun out with my friends tonite...

my friends over, shes worried about my eating habits... wutever, i just wanna get really skinny, thats my goal lol, dont i make it just sound SO easy!?! dont u just wish it were as easy as it sounds?

well wish me luck on getting my BMI down to 18.5 by the new year!!!!

much ana luv *~Mer~*

3:34 AM - 6 eprops - 5 comments - email it

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

fuck getting better

this guy at the barn, one of the gay ass stupid mexicans who works there, called me fat... and said i need to exercise more... fuck him, fuck everyone

i cant get better with that shit being said, so what if more ppl call my skinny?

my BMI is 21.2..... yes im fat and disgusting, but u dont need to say it!

much ana luv *~Mer~*

im pathetic and weak.. my attempt at recovery lasted one day...

10:28 PM - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it

Monday, September 06, 2004

hey girls, im trying to get better... so i probably wont be posting for a little while... i wanna see how things go, but i may just come running back... *wish me luck*

much ana luv *~Mer~*

5:05 PM - 2 eprops - 2 comments - email it

Saturday, September 04, 2004

i cut the word perfect into my hip... i was having a bad day

i was at my best friends house, and she wouldnt eat anything, and some other people were there too, but she made me eat, so i was trying to make her eat, but she made it really obvious to everyone else who was there. then we got in a fight and she went into the bathroom and cut her wrist a few times and tried to make herself throw up even though she wasnt successful.

then she made me feel really bad, like everything that happened that night was all my fault. so i got upset, and i went and cut those words into my hip... im back to trying not to eat, because i feel so like competetive with my friend about being better at ana than her... its dumb... but true...

I don't even know what to bloody say about this. What the fuck is wrong with this girl? What the fuck are her parents doing about it? Before I launch into a worse tirade, look at the most recent post.

Monday, September 13, 2004

my friends gonna take me to get high! fuck yea!

i took a buncha anti-depressants and drank 6 shots of vodka! it was fun... and now im shaky and totally like pshyco and hyper, but its hella fun...

didnt eat too much, just a coke and sum salad... oh and a low fat piece of pizza...

wutever... tomorrow starts my fast, i luv these pill they take away my appetite completely!

much ana luv *~Mer~*

15 fucking years old and her friends are going to take her to get high. Plus she took an bunch of anti-deps and drank vodka! *does the thumbs up sign* Double trouble!

I'm so bloody angry at this girl, at her parents, at her friends, at society in general. People like this disgust me and make me pity them at the same time. But I think the hatred will win out.

This is very similar to my rant about people who are fat and bitch about it. If you're fat and have a biological problem, then my condolences to you. But if you're fat and are just too goddamned lazy to exercise, then I don't give a shit. This only applies to people who bitch and moan about it, by the way. Three Trees is large and he doesn't care. So he's alright by me.

But these stupid stupid little girls somehow get it in their minds that they have to be these goddamned twigs in order to be happy. As a result, they give themselves that goddamned eating disorder known as anorexia. Bulimia too. I don't care.

15 years old and destroying her life. Well, you know what? I don't care. People like this have no right to breathe the same air as me. They deserve whatever comes to them tenfold. When did it stop being okay to look how you look and be happy with it? Someone answer this for me. Why can't people just be happy with themselves? Why the influx of plastic surgeries and alterations and all sorts of other persona changing operations?

So, you know what? I hope this girl dies. I really do. If you see her in the street, please call her fat, tell her she's a blimp, tell her to move and that she's standing in your sunlight. Please speed up her certain demise.

Dear CHRIST, how insecure do you have to be to CUT yourself and STARVE yourself because someone called you fat? Boo-fucking-hoo. Please, go cry. Kill yourself, even, because someone said something mean about you. Damn, I'm sure glad that never happened to me, else I'd be anorexic!

Oh wait. It DID happen to me. Countless times. If I tried to slowly kill myself every time someone said something nasty to me, I'd certainly be believing in reincarnation by now.

"Allen, you have a fat head." Oh no!!!!! I must see a shaman about head-shrinkage immediately~!!!!

"Allen, you're such a bastard. You're so mean to people. I hate you." Oh god no, say it ain't so?? You mean, I don't have your approval? What will I do with my life? That was my entire life's goal, to get your approval. *blam*

"Allen, if it were up to me, you wouldn't be in a relationship again for a long long time. You use people." Uh-oh! Time to castrate myself.

Jeezum crow. I sincerely hope that all these people continue to kill themselves slowly and die horrible painful deaths, ridding the world of their pathetic existence. Sure, everyone has problems, and everyone bitches about them, but at 15 years old, I guaran-damn-tee you your fucking problems don't begin to stack up to someone else's. The freakin' TAPEWORM in my stomach has more problems than you, you bitch. Do us all a favor and die. The sooner you do it, the better off we'll all be.

Now before anyone flames me for hating on the people with eating disorders, please understand that I used to have sympathy for these people. I've had friends who have nearly died because of them. I DATED a former (though it didn't seem too former to me) anorexic for two years, for God's sake. I just couldn't take it. The girl was 5'2, 105 pounds and she was constantly trying to lose weight. It's just one of those things that I just don't understand.

Now, of course, there are exceptions to every rule. But simply because you have an eating disorder doesn't mean you should cut yourself. Get a fucking grip or cut deeper and end your pathetic life.

Help your fucking self for once.

*sigh* Come on, people. Be happy with who you are. No matter what you look like.
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