Our sordid tale begins here, in a 50's style drive-in movie, where our girls are being brainwashed by the Nazis Pop and Lock, forced to become slaves to their dreams of world pop domination.
The song opens with this girl
saying these opening lines, which are probably the worst lines ever to open a song. I don't know why...they just bug the hell out of me.
"I wanna believe this love is true...
The love you express to me
The future can only tell if this love is true or not, right?
As for now, I love you with all my heart
And nothing can get in the way"
*shudders* I dunno.
Our other victims are these two girls:
There's a fourth girl, but no one cares about her; she's the obligatory ugly one.
We are treated to a flashback of one of our heroines fleeing Pop and Lock, hoping to escape from the trendy fate that awaits them.
Then we cut immediately to the horror that they have suffered upon capture. Behold! Pop-and-Lock comes to Japan!!
No!! What have they done! All gangsta'd up in black and now suddenly they're breakdancing in a shade of pink sure to cause retinal damage. I'm already blind from looking at it.
The girl on the right is showing us what an airplane looks like.
When we reach the chorus of the song, we are treated to the International Version of Billy Joel's American Sign Language symbol for 'love'.
What is that? Is it a heart? Or is it the hole she will carve in your chest and then peer through gleefully as she takes your soul for the Nazis.
Another flashback. This one of the faceless zombies gathered like the proverbial lambs to the slaughter.
Someone explain this to me.
Ah!!! The horror!!! What is she DOING?! She's either doing the Matt Downs or fisting an elephant.
Oh no! Another one caught by Pop and Lock's ravenous armies of rabid pre-teens. The brilliant spotlight of 15 minutes of fame blazes in the dark alley.
The last one, put in a cage and traded to colonists for Bibles and Jamaican rum.
Let's check in on the new recruits' 'training'.
Alas, it would seem their teacher is that woman who sang "Walk Like an Egpytian." Poor girls.
Here's that death sign again!!
*bleeds from the eyes*
They're apparently trying to shake the water off their hands. What's the matter, girls? Didn't like the automatic hand-dryer in the little girls' room?
That brings us to the conclusion of the video. Remember:
You can take the girl outta the thuggin', but you can't take the thuggin' out of the girl.
Good night, sweet children. You are no more.
Now for my ratings.
1) Hotness - I'll give them a 6. It might be a seven, but there has to be room for improvement, as well as the fact that they're all 12 years old. I may be going to prison for giving them even a seven.
2) Uniqueness - Yeah, this gets a 2. It's just a girl band dancing in a parking lot. It only gets more than a 1 because it's got them being chased by the Nazis.
3) Song - 7. The song, while sounding suspiciously like the Backstreet Boys, is very upbeat and astonishingly catchy. Ergo, I'll listen to it again and again.
4) Lyrics - N/A I couldn't find an English translation of it, and I'm not equipped to rate it's Japanese lyrics. Mini Moni is lucky because I'd deduct mad points for those opening lines.
5) Cinematography - 5. The cinematography is good, but it's nothing spectacular. Average.
6) Entertainment Value Overall 7 here. I enjoy this video, I enjoy the song, the dances are well-coordinated, if scary as hell.
All in all, I'd give this video a Recommendation